I'm Going To Put This Flat Out...

...People who can't take the truth drive me insane. As you may have gathered, this is quite a problem in my life. Every day, it seems that I manage to accidentally make someone angry at me because I didn't beat around the bush. High school, what do you have against me? Why is there so much drama? Then I get home, and I can say whatever I want, be who I've grown up to be. Having been raised with three brothers, the person I am ignores the bush. I plow the bush. Call me the bush plower. At home, my brothers will shrug any statement off and tell me where I screw up.

I like to think that when this happens, I can take what I dish out. I fancy that when someone tells me that I'm horrible at something or that I'm wrong, that I absorb it and move on with life, that the person who told me doesn't walk away just a tad bit peeved off because they're soaked in drama from my outburst. In all honesty, I don't think this happens; I am pretty sure that I get defensive. But hey, at least I realize that, right? Right? At least people don't walk away from me covered in yogurt. What did you say? It sounds like there's a story behind that? Well, only because you brought it up will I tell you.

Today I was at lunch, and someone, we'll call her Jane, said that she had to tell me something. Jane paused, and said that she would tell me later because "Lily" was present, and Lily can't keep a secret. Due to my polite-ness level being zero, I told Jane that she was being a hypocrite. Baffled, Jane asked what I meant. As I am, I told her that she couldn't keep a secret. Small thing, huge reaction. I ended up with yogurt all over my face. And hair. And sweater. Oh Jane, dear dear Jane. Excuse me, but I thought that you were over the age of five. I'm sorry that I was under the incorrect impression. Granted, it's probably my own fault. I didn't frolic around the bush. No, because I, my dear friends, am the bush plower.

Bush Plower. I think I'll make this my Indian name. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying that it was socially acceptable to criticize Jane. All I'm saying is that it should be. People should stop being insecure and just try to improve themselves. End of story. Think of how simple life would be if everyone knew everything about everyone. No hiding, no secrets, no lies. I guess that I will soon have to come to the realization that life, sadly, is not this way. It never will be. Life can not change just for me. However, I can change for life.

Will I?

Probably not. Because I am me, and life needs to get over it. Anyone seen that bush I'm supposed to be avoiding?

Garden Gnomes

Some of you may have thought that the (alliteration!) garden gnome on the right side of my blog was cute, may even funny. I'll bet what you least expected is that it was a sign of my seeking for world domination. All I'm saying is that I may or may not be in alliance with garden gnomes world wide, and I've decided to warn my loved ones. Here is your only chance for survival.

The author, Chuck Sambuchino, has been trying to thwart our operation for years. He reveals our plans in the book summary.

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.

There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.
Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter isbreached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

You've been warned, prepare.

P.S. This post is a joke, I am not teamed up with evil garden gnomes. Please do not send the FBI after me.

P.P.S. I will not comment on my relations with lawn flamingos.

Reflective Essay

Yes, I know that I haven't written for over a month. Deal with it. I decided I'd post the reflective essay that I had to write for English so you guys could have a good laugh. The assignment was to write about an object that has some sort of significance in our life. I'm aware how super cheesy it is, feel free to make fun of it. Oh yes, I also still need a title, so if you have any great ideas, let me know.

My frustrated body slams into the huge front door, forgetting that it's usually locked. I sigh as I head to the garage door, animatedly punching in the code. "2-7-5-9". My finger slips as it pushes the 6 instead of the 9. Even something this small is enough to upset me today. The 30-second journey seems like an eternity, and then all entrances are finally in hindsight. "Hello?" Nobody home. Again. My feet loudly pound the wooden floor, even though I know no one can hear them. Eventually my hand grasps the smooth metal handle, and my eyes begin frantically searching for the familiar, large, silver bag. My treasure is found, and I let my muscles go limp as I sink into the comforting couch.

A chain of the bits of the rich chocolate begin to enter my mouth, always hungry for more, yet savoring each taste. The disappointments of the day begin to settle in as the tears stream down. I realize how trivial my worries are, but they still hurt, if only to me. My cell phone broke. One chocolate chip. That C minus on my paper in history. Two chocolate chips. She's mad at me for no apparent reason. Three chocolate chips. He's not talking to me. An overflowing handful of chocolate chips.

I grudgingly realize that I should feel lucky to have had any of these things in the first place, but I shun reasonable thinking, cuddling up next to my pity party. The chocolate chips slowly pry away my insignificant sorrow, but it's one certain memory that pushes it far, far away.

The day wasn't unlike today, all around dreadful. Today I had resorted to my room, the flannel blanket soft against my skin. My pillow was wet, which made me even more angry, because this does not happen often. I am not weak; I can hold my own. When this occasionally fails, it just makes me more upset. The silver bag was acting as my teddy bear, never-failing. I was past the worst part, recovering, the bag noticeably lighter. There's a knock on my bedroom door, and I let them know that they are not wanted. It seems that I've forgotten that I have a stubborn family, because I'm almost surprised when there's a body next to me. I make my best attempt to ignore it, but it's virtually impossible when your face is buried into their chest. He doesn't speak for a while, just holds me on his lap and rocks me back and forth. He knows what's wrong and doesn't bother asking. I am the first one to break the silence. "Ute, it isn't fair." My sobs have started again, a fail on my part to keep it together. However, my big brother doesn't fail me and lets me know, "You're right, you've just got to let them think that you don't care. You be the winner." But I don't want to be the winner, right now I'm enveloped in being the sulking loser. He knows that his words sunk in deep, unable to show on the surface right now. He lets me be, his sleeve becoming saturated, but the flow slowing. I regain my composure, and he looks me in the eyes. "You're okay. You're amazing, and I love you." My brother's rare show of emotion catches me off guard, and lends me enough confidence to regain myself at last. "Now keep it together, because I'm going to get some apple cake." Classic big brother. I snatch a handful of chocolate chips and join him downstairs.

Back on the couch, I glance over at that very same kitchen counter. Now, there's no six foot one teenager dominating the scene. Dominating now is the emptiness, Ute's mission call in my peripheral vision. He's in Ecuador, and I'm left to deal with everything with only my chocolate chips for companionship. The weight of the situation almost makes me shoulders slump, but the silver bag makes me realize that someone will always be there for me. "You're okay. You're amazing, and I love you."

Life is Just Like a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Profound, I know.

With both of my parents working full time, I obviously provide for most of my brothers' needs in the day. Usually, I take the easy way out in helping them, because I have better things to do. Mr. Mario provides the entertainment, along with their own imaginations, lacrosse sticks, other friends, basically anyone or anything besides myself. Lunch generally consists of personal pizzas, cereal, fruit, or PB & J's. However, on one particular day, I found myself alone at lunchtime. Bring on the grilled cheese, with a nice helping of epiphany on the side.

As I stood over the concoction of deliciousness, I made sure that it would be perfect. I recalled how my older brother and his then girlfriend had taught me the art of making a grilled cheese sandwich. You can't be in a hurry when making a grilled cheese. If you are, the stove gets set to about 8, which is, obviously, a huge no-no. I remember the alarmed look on my big brother's face as I cranked the knob to the higher temperatures. "No! Madi, you can't do that! If you do that, then the cheese doesn't get all gooey and melted! Patience." I have now learned my lesson and cook my sandwiches at about 4, even though my big brother's now in Ecuador, unable to see the profound impact he had on me. He was so right; cheese is infinitely better when it strings at every bite than just slightly warmed. Life lesson number one relating to grilled cheese: take it slow. Life is short enough, there's no need to rush through it and miss everything. It is so much better when you stop to smell the roses and let the cheese get stringy.

The grilled cheese slid out of the pan and onto my paper plate, and I realized how ugly it looked. The bread had become slightly singed and had taken on an almost black hue. To the touch it was hard and crispy. The knife plunged into the hard abyss, and encountered that good ol' creamy cheese. My teeth followed suit, and it was my taste buds that realized the inside was much more attractive than the out. There are two ways this can be applied. Firstly, to people. Take my dad for example. He seems like a serious, strictly rule-abiding guy at first glance. You could not be more wrong. Once you spend 5 minutes with him, you realize what a huge goof ball he is. When I need some leeway on an issue, my dad is the first one I go to. He understands what is going on and bends the rules more often than not. Another application is situations in life. Sometimes things on your to-do list look boring, hard, or scary. However, when you put your whole self into it, you'll usually find that there are good aspects. So go ahead, plunge in. Find that cheese.

As everyone knows, a grilled cheese sandwich does not meet its full potential without being drenched in tomato soup. The two flavors are so different, yet blend so amazingly. As you may have guessed, this applies to life. Every person has their perfect companion, even if they may seem completely different at first glance. Crunchy and smooth, buttery and tomato. It all fits if you give it the chance to work out. Just like cheese on cinnamon rolls.

You can learn a lot from your food, try it sometime. Analyze that taco or chicken noodle soup. And think of these life lessons you have learned next time you eat a grilled cheese.

Mistakes Made By Snow White

Yesterday, as I was running on the treadmill, I was keeping my mind away from running by watching Snow White. Apparently whoever was taking the order for Snow White missed the part where the customer asked, "And can I get some brains with that beauty?" Honestly, she is messing up every 5 minutes. So I decided to list all the blatantly obvious mistakes that this woman of beauty makes.

Note: If you find any that I miss, feel free to add them as a comment. Let the mocking commence.

1. She runs away from the prince. Seriously? What kind of girl runs away from hot men? I do not understand. She sings this big huge song that ends with, "I'm wishing (I'm wishing), for the one I love, to find me (to find me), today!" And then the prince comes up and sings today instead of the echo, and she runs away. He can sing, he's a prince, he has a freaking stellar steed, I don't understand why she runs. Big mistake.
2. She goes into the forest alone with a guy who has a black mustache. This chick needs to realize that she's in a movie, and to never trust anyone with a big black mustache. Use that brain! Oh wait, that's what's with the huge white collar, to hold in what brains she has left. Excuse me, I forget.
3. She picks up the bird that has fallen from the nest. How does she know that he's not sick? Can you say diseases? That's the end of my attempting witty remarks on this matter.
4. Breaking and entering. Need I say more?
5. Snow White assumes that a family with 7 children lives in the cottage when there's a pickax jammed in the table. I mean, I live with 2 completely psycho little boys, but my parents would never let them use a pickax as a toy.
6. She assures the dwarfs that the White Queen will not find her there. Everyone knows about the White Queen's magic mirror that tells her everything. Let me repeat that. The White Queen's magic mirror tells her everything. Apparently Snow White feels that her whereabouts do not fall under the heading of everything.
7. She orders the dwarfs around. Think about it. 7 men armed with pickaxes. I don't care if they're little, that could've ended a lot differently. Last I checked, little men are easily angered when being ordered around. Snow White risks her life over clean hands. Hmmm.
8. Snow White lets rodents and birds assist her in baking pies. The squirrels walk all over the pie and the birds scratch the slits in the top crust. Diseases, woman! Diseases!
   
9. She let the creepy old hag inside the house. First of all, it's not her house to let people into. Second of all, and old warty woman who practically has a beard. The lady's being followed by vultures. That's only slightly suspicious.
   
10. SHE EATS THE APPLE FROM THE CREEPY OLD HAG! Ok, I get that her IQ is pretty low, but don't eat the freaking apple from this ancient woman who looks like she ate maggots for breakfast. This is about as stupid as you can get. Not to forget that it's the only red apple in a basket of green apples. Just a small dead giveaway.
    
11. She doesn't question what in the heck happened to her or why she was laying in a glass coffin. Would that raise questions in anyone else's mind? It sure would in mine. Pretty sure I would be more curious why I was in my casket than that a man was standing in front of me. Can you say shallow?
    
12. She rides away with the prince that she hasn't even had a conversation with. For all she knows, he could be some super creeper. Courtship is advised in the majority of situations. Also, his castle is in the sky. Can't you see that conversation? "Oh yeah, I don't really know how to get to my house, so we're kind of hobos." (Insert awkward turtle here)

Just so everyone knows, I love the movie Snow White. It's absolutely genius, but the actual character isn't. Here ends my mocking of aireheaded girls, I hope you've enjoyed it.

P.S. Does anyone else find Snow White's voice extremely annoying? Think about it.

Familia

This week, especially yesterday, I've been realizing how much family really means. Now don't get me wrong, I have always loved my family more than anything, especially the past year or two. However, it still baffles me that I keep growing closer to them. I'm not talking physically (although I keep coming nearer and nearer to my dad's height). I've grown closer to my big brother even though I haven't seen him for 9 months and he's been in Ecuador for 7 of those months. It's amazing what one e-mail a week can do. It's also astonishing what lack of a family member can teach you.

Having my best friend gone for 9 months has not been easy, mind you. But boy, has it been beneficial. I used to take every problem in my life to my big bro, and he would always tell me what I should do. And it wasn't any crappy advice. Every time I acted on his words, things worked out for the best. It was weird, almost as if he had been a teenager in the same situations before. Now I have a team of three that I solve petty issues in my life with: Me, myself, and I. I'm left to figure things out on myself or take them to my parents, who usually end up lecturing me. You can't even imagine how much more I appreciate Ute and all the time he spent listening to me. He did so much for me, and now that I realize all of it, my love for him is larger than ever. Also, my mom has been gone this whole week. This leaves me to pick up most of her responsibilities at home while she's in California on business. So I was the one to keep the house in order (partially), make dinner, clean up dinner, make sure the little boys didn't eat each other, etc. This also made me realize how much work my loving mother puts in to keep us all happy. At this moment, she's over in the kitchen cooking up some steak and potatoes. The house looks better than it has all week and everyone's happy. She makes it look easy, and it is so not. Plus she works a full time job and manages to find time to quilt. Obviously, no one would do this for others if they didn't love them from the bottom of their heart. That's saying something.

Elder Russell M. Ballard gave a talk titled "Mothers and Daughters" in the Saturday Morning Session of the last General Conference. My family and I were in Spain during General Conference, so I listened to it for the first time yesterday. Correction: I listened to it for the first and second time yesterday. My mom and I sometimes clash like every teenage girl and her mother, so it was really good for me to hear this talk addressing the relationship between us. Elder Ballard said, "Young women, your mothers adore you. They see in you the promise of future generations. Everything you accomplish, every challenge you overcome brings them pure joy. And likewise your worries and heartaches are their worries and heartaches." That is a really powerful statement to me. My mommy really loves me, even if we yell at each other sometimes. He also said, "Now, mothers, I understand that it sometimes appears that our children aren’t paying attention to the lessons we’re trying to teach them. Believe me—I’ve seen that glazed-over look that comes to the eyes of teenagers just when you’re coming to what you think is the best part of your instruction. Let me assure you that even when you think your daughter is not listening to a thing you say, she is still learning from you as she watches you to see if your actions match your words. As Ralph Waldo Emerson is believed to have said, 'What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say' " I find this statement to be extremely true, and I am extremely guilty. I am infamous for the eye roll while my parents are trying to help me and I don't always remember what they say. But, I will never forget the examples that they set daily. They teach me how to stay righteous and have fun while doing it.

Movies lately have been completely destroying the family, implying that it is useless and a hassle. One reason I loved the new movie "Despicable Me" is because it actually supported families. The huge moral in the movie is that families make you a better person, which I wholeheartedly agree with. Plus, it is a hilarious movie. Highly recommended.

I'm so grateful that I have such an amazing family and that I can share anything with them, that we're not only family, we're friends. They are so important to me and I love them with all of my being. Moral of the story: Family is good.

Let the Blog Begin

I honestly don't know why I'm blogging. Probably because I just wanted to deck out some website with a cool gnome and little trippy things everywhere. Well, that's done. Now I have to write something on it. Dang it.

Maybe it's because I feel I have something profound to share with the world. I highly doubt I do, but we might as well give it a shot. Possibly it's that sometimes I just need an outlet to gently shove my thoughts into the world and I have something against facebook. Not sure about the thoughts part, but I do have something against facebook. Or it could be that I need a way to pass these summer days stuck in the house with my two little brothers. Maybe I want to say things to the world, but I'm too afraid to put it where people may just stumble upon it, so I chose a blog, where they have to want to find it. Who knows.?

Either way, here I am, diving into the blogging pool. To come are my "deep insights", funny stories, and frustrations. Wish me luck, hopefully I don't bore you too much.